4.1 | Tinder vs. Shaadi.com: Post #1 of Many

mm-tinder-vs-shaadiRemember when online dating used to be a dubious concept? Back in the day, my parents used to be legitimately concerned about me chatting to strangers on the interwebs. My online presence was constantly monitored, and any activity on MySpace.com; Friendster.com; hi5.com; orkut.com, and numerous other social networking websites pre-Facebook was limited to one dial-up a day – if that.

The idea of maintaining an innocent penpalship with somebody off one of these sites, let alone dating them, was vehemently frowned upon. Most ‘normal’ people were even hesitant to use their real photograph on these profiles, so I guess the possibilities of Catfish could have been/were probably, very, very high.

Fast forward fifteen odd years, and the parents have signed me up to, what seems like, every single matrimonial site available on the internet. That’s right, they now want me to marry somebody off the internet.

Arranged marriage has changed its face over the years. These days, for the most part, it is not synonymous with ‘forced marriage’ and finding one’s partner this way is more along the lines of your parents setting you up on a Blind Date, than them marrying you to a Blind Date. [You can Google the rest, or find a Mallu/Indian]

Enter Shaadi.com, or ‘SHADY.com’, as my friend calls it. I’m not sure if you are familiar with the workings of a matrimonial site. Maybe just pop onto one of these: m4marry.com; bharatmatrimony.com; chavaramatrimony.com; simplymarry.com (lol); or, of course, the famous Shaadi.com, to play around a little with finding a potential ‘candidate’ (what most sites use to refer to your potential future spouse). It can actually be quite a lot of fun, if you are not serious at all.

For a little while, the process of 1) figuring out what kind of person it is that you actually want, on paper at least, and 2) finding this ideal person who totally fits your bill in terms of what you ordered online (literally, LOL), is exciting. But then you wait… And you wait… And uncharacteristically, you might start off a little cocky, or condescending: like, Wow, really? He thinks he matches up? That’s pretty confident… And then, strangely, you begin to doubt. Why is nobody biting? Is it me? Am I not actually worth what I want? Are my standards too high? Are these the kind of guys I should be considering? And then you lower your requirements to as-low-as-you-are-willing-to-go. But, I sincerely hope that at this point, before you become overwhelmingly despondent about ever finding The One (and that, too, online), you realise that you are worth exactly as much as you think you are, and that there is little to no reason to reduce your expectations. Honestly, the right person will come along, and perhaps, if you are lucky, you might even come across him in Real Life* first. MMx

*Not an app

The post is the beginning of a series – I hope you enjoy reading it, as much as I enjoy sharing my experiences.

6 thoughts on “4.1 | Tinder vs. Shaadi.com: Post #1 of Many

  1. I’ve heard that during this hunt-down-suitable match fiasco, people(especially our beloved aunties) go unimaginable lengths to find your imperfections. But as you said, you are no less than who you think you are.

    Keep posting!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Loving these posts 😀If only Mallu aunties and the general Indian community realised that we are not defined by marriage or that related to it😣esp as girls🙌

    Even after the big tradition cathedral Indian wedding, aunties will still judge all your life choices and question you on the next Mallu-girl expectation i.e. making a cricket team of babies who can’t play cricket but can do calculus before they speak and have top rank for Med entrance by the time the crawl 😴 they need to cam down and watch Masterchef instead of dramatic Asianet series😛. Hehe keep posting! 😄

    Liked by 1 person

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